sanitize insanity

The first human meat eaters did not have the benefit of gas or electric ovens. For that matter, they didn't even have fire. (Fire was only discovered when young human children started playing with matches.) Seriously, the first humans were scavengers and ate raw road kill. I imagine many of them died, but those who survived had the benefit of developing an immunity to the bacteria in decaying flesh. That strain of humans, the meat eaters, went on to dominate the world because meat was the best source of protein (Read GUNS, GERMS AND STEEL by Dr. Jared Diamond for a fascinating explanation of how this process worked).

If you ever watch the TV show BIZARRE FOODS with Andrew Zimmern, you probably exercise your gag reflex as he devours bugs and x-rated animal parts with relish. Speaking from experience, in many parts of the world the chief source of protein comes from those bugs and animal parts routinely discarded in this country or used in hot dogs. I visited a Samburu tribe in Kenya that lived exclusively on blood and milk from their herd of cattle. There were flies everywhere and when I asked the chief how he could stand living this way, he answered, "What flies?" "You see," he told me, "an abundance of flies means we have plenty of food, so it is a sign of prosperity."

The point of all this is that we humans are capable of eating just about anything under the most unsanitary of conditions (besides dealing with flies, the Samburu live in huts made out of cattle dung). That ability comes from those first humans who ate road kill. They passed on our body's natural ability to process anything as food so long as it contains protein, carbohydrates or fat. They also passed on our body's natural ability to thrive in this world filled with germs, bacteria and cat fur.

But alas, we have figured out a way to negate the accomplishments of all our ancestors in one or two generations by sanitizing ourselves. We sanitize our food, our hands, the air we breathe, and worst of all, we take antibiotics. These wonder drugs clear cut their way through our body's natural defenses in the name of saving us from a specific germ. Ironically, that germ will eventually develop its own ability to resist the antibiotic trying to kill it just as we did when we started eating road kill.

Why do you think that in the span of a few generations, we have developed allergies to foods and conditions where allergies never before existed? Why do so many Americans go to foreign countries and routinely suffer from fluid lower tract ailments when the locals have no problem with them? It's all because we systematically reverse the accomplishments of thousands of generations by destroying the very gift our ancestors suffered and died for so that we may live long and prosper.

One of my pet peeves is traveling with people who take "preventative" antibiotics like Cipro to "protect" them against Montezuma's revenge and other lower tract problems. In the process of "protecting" us, these antibiotics are killing all bacteria in our system, good and bad. Of course, the body will fight back against this onslaught by developing an immunity to Cipro, so when you really need it, it won't work anymore .

I take the opposite approach. My answer to preventing those liquid diseases is the same tactic our military uses when it invades a country and then starts to lose it. I call this strategy "the surge."  I increase the amount of bacteria in my system instead of destroying it with antibiotics. How? By eating active culture yogurt, a cup a day for ten days, before leaving on a trip overseas. As it turns out, most countries I visit include yogurt as a mainstay of their diets (gee, I wonder why), so I can continue to eat it throughout my trip.

By the way, I always eat what the locals eat - you know, all those disgusting things that are great sources of protein. Just remember that your stomach only recognizes three things - protein, carbohydrates and fat. It's your mind that allows T-bone steaks past your taste buds, but forbids Mopani worms.

Is Spam getting a bad name?

When I first tried to eat Spam as a youngster I hated it. My parents didn't like it either, and I knew that before I tried it, hence the reason I hated it. As an adult, I began to appreciate Spam as kind of a delicacy, a low class tinned meat made from mystery meats but with a storied past. I still don't like it though. Well, there are now two different kinds of Spam, the brand name food product and the lower case internet kind.

I am really tired of internet spam. It's like being forced to eat Spam every day for every meal. Now, just since yesterday afternoon, I have emails from unintelligible sources telling me they were referred by a friend,  the ubiquitous business proposals from foreign governments, requests from companies I do business with telling me they need me to re-enter my financial information, survey opportunities with big rewards, money making schemes that are just a click away and the usual prurient offers to make your body into something it isn't. It's kind of like buying a can of Spam expecting a medium rare T-bone steak inside. The difference is that you can eat Spam and imagine it's a steak without getting sick, but if you click on promising spam emails, what it does to your computer WILL make you sick.

Global warming -- fact or fiction?

Two harsh winters in a row would seem to give global warming deniers plenty of ammunition to rebut the work of scientists on the subject. What is it about science that fosters so much distrust and debate? I don't even want to get into the argument because I know that when people believe something to be true, no amount of factual information can ever sway them.

Without getting into the argument, let's just say the rash of cold weather we have endured in this country and in Europe can be explained by a weather phenomenon more to do with ocean currents than global warming. It's called La Nina (Neenya) and originates in the Pacific Ocean. La Nina doesn't affect weather around the globe whereas global warming does. To put it simply, let's say it's 90 degrees outside and you have no air conditioning inside your home. La Nina is like opening the refrigerator door and sticking your head in the meat department. Global warming deniers are inclined to say, 'hey, there's no heat wave in here!' It's kind of like sticking your head in the sand so you don't have to worry about the world around you.

Speak English, please

I recently received an email suggesting that for fun we all wear a T-shirt with a picture of Uncle Sam and the words "I want YOU…to speak English." I guess that’s a sentiment shared by many people who feel if you live here you should speak ‘our’ language. I, like most Americans, only speak one language, English. So we would naturally like everyone who comes here to save us the bother of learning Spanish or Mandarin.

As someone who travels frequently outside the US, I’m thankful that the countries I visit don’t share that sentiment (with one possible exception). Take Kenya for example. There are 42 tribes in that country, each with its own language. To communicate with each other, they speak a second language common to all of them, Swahili (even we know what ‘hakuna matata’ means). In addition, most of them speak English. I pity the poor soul who only knows Kikiyu.

If you visit Morocco, they speak a form of Arabic that most Arabs from other countries have a problem understanding. Not only that, restaurant menus are in Arabic with subtitles in French. For all I know, they could all be wearing T-shirts with a photo of Charles de Gaulle and the words "I want YOU…to speak anything but English," but since I can't read their T-shirts I will never know.

What about those bad ass-et banks?

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting pretty tired of hearing about bad ass-et banks. I thought the original idea was that banks offered us a small income if we kept our savings with them instead of in our mattress, then lent our money at a higher rate to people who needed it for business or buying houses. The bank would be very careful about who they lent that money to because it was, after all, OUR money and eventually they had to pay us back.

Then those bad ass-ets went and loaned money to people who purchased houses at unrealistic prices they could not afford. Why? Because all the other Lemmings were also doing it. These bad mortgages were so attractive that securities firms came up with new products to sell based on those bad mortgages. They protected themselves with insurance offered by AIG, which forgot to run these investments by their underwriters.

So here we are today, the people who thought our money was being managed by professional bankers, not riverboat gamblers, ponying up our grandchildren’s future to bail them out and save our entire monetary system. I don’t know about you, but I am feeling a distinct pain in the ass-et right now.

Beliefs and opinions

It all gets back to opinions. Everyone has opinions, some of which are strongly held and become beliefs. Wars are not usually fought over opinions, although many a bar fight has been waged over them. When opinions become beliefs though, watch out. If you believe Obama is ruining the country after three months in office, you don’t take kindly to someone who suggests Bush already ruined it in his eight years. If you believe human-induced climate change will be the death of us, don’t hang around with people who believe climate change is normal and they have a gun rack in their truck to prove it. If you believe only Saved Christians will go to heaven, don’t tell that to a Muslim or a Jew, who believe they are each exclusively God’s chosen people. The right thing to say is that everyone is entitled to his or her belief as long as I’m entitled to mine. At least, that’s my opinion on the subject.

global warming?

In spite of dire warnings that the sky is falling -- well, at least it's a bit heavier with all that carbon dioxide floating around -- there are many who still disbelieve global warming warnings. These are probably the same people who said cigarettes don't cause cancer even though it says so on the pack and that big banks could never fail.

You only have to look at all the cold, snowy, miserable weather this winter to prove the earth is not getting warmer, they say. Well, one year a trend does not make. I've known people with a terminal disease who have occasional good days. Do they go around saying this proves they don't have cancer?

Even if you don't believe in global warning or cancer, you should take the symptoms seriously, considering the potential result.

Newspapers falling on hard times

For anyone who enjoys reading an actual newspaper rather than a point and click edition, we may be seeing the demise of some prominent publications. If you have noticed our own Press Journal here in Vero Beach, you've seen it get smaller and thinner over the past year to the point it looks like the anorexic version of its former self. The question you have to ask is with cutbacks in editorial staffs around the country, who's going to keep tabs on the people we elect to public office? Democracy depends on a free press, not a dividend-paying corporation.
http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1883785,00.html